Lord, I could not escape Your blessing if I tried. For I am a daughter of the promise and of the new covenant. How deep, how rich, how wide, how high is the love of God apportioned to us in Christ?! My mind cannot grasp it; my heart cannot contain it. What joy I have in knowing Your grace. All that Your holiness demands, You have supplied. Where a positive demerit was due, You have given unmerited favor. Oh Lord, that I may dwell in Your temple and gaze upon Your beauty, that I stand before You blameless, without blemish is grace indeed! Oh for grace to trust You more, Father! 

uphill

Lord, I remember my weariness, the ache of my tired muscles. I felt as though I could not go on. The journey seemed too great and the weight on my back was all I could feel; it was so heavy. But You were with me. You encouraged my heart with Your Word and I kept moving.  "I lift my eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip, He who watches over you will not slumber. Indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep." I told myself only 20 more steps, you can do anything for 20 steps for the Lord is Your help. So I counted, "1, 2, 3,........20. I can do 20 more steps. 1, 2, 3,.....20." I continued up the mountain and eventually there were no more steps to count. I found that sweet rest was waiting for me.

You are my help in all things, O Lord. You are my Sustainer, the one Who carries me. I trust You for You are good. Your grace is enough.

enough to die

[This is somewhat disjointed. You have my apologies, but the blog is called "thinking out loud."]

At the end of the book of Jonah, Jonah is being a big baby and is angry with God. He doesn't come right out and say why he is so angry with God in his heart, but he complains to God about a vine that had once given him shade, but has now wilted and died. Jonah tells God that he is angry enough to die over the plant. One of the leaders of Navs said that he saw God's heart in this. And that perhaps, when Jonah said these words aloud, he too realized God's heart. God felt this way about the people of Nineveh; He wanted them to repent and turn to Him.  He desires the same for us. God was so angry about our sin and the brokenness of the world that He sent His Son to die in our place. He was angry enough to die.

For the last few weeks the fifth graders have been reading The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. It has been wonderful! Earlier in the week we read about Edmund's rescue and the White Witch coming to talk to Aslan because according to the deep magic a traitor's life belonged to her. The children soon realized that Aslan would give his life in Edmund's place. In my afternoon reading group Thursday, I was reading aloud about how hopeless Lucy and Susan were looking at the dead Aslan on the stone table. A page or so later, the girls hear a great noise. They turn to see the stone table broken and Aslan in all his glory before them, alive! How my eyes welled with tears, I had to pass the reading to a student.

Romans 5:6-8 says: "You see, at just the right time, while were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will a rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while were still sinners, Christ died for us."  These verses have been bouncing around in my head for the last few months. This week it seems like God is bringing me to a deeper understanding of it in my own life. I am surrounded by so many people that I would love to see come to know Jesus in a real way. I would gladly give my life for them to know Him. God is asking me to do just that, in the moment by moment dying to self where faith is expressed. As I wrestle with this, I have been praying about what this means for next year. Does this mean continuing in a career I don't know if I want, so I can continue to be with these lovely people? 

My heart comes back to the great commission. Go and make disciples, teach them in the power of my Spirit! Bear fruit! I think with excitement about how many apples could be in one seed. We have an awesome God, a God of such loyal love and endless faithfulness. He loved us enough to humble himself and put on flesh, to take the very nature of a servant, and to die, a death in my place and yours, on the cross. His death brought life, for the grave could not keep Him and He rose victorious!

Lord, thank You for Your perfect ways. They are higher and greater than mine. Continue to teach me, O Lord, what it means to die to self and to live for You. I pray that I would bear fruit in season and that my life would bring You glory. Lord, You are the giver of all life. Would You bring new life to my friends? Lord, that we would praise You among the nations. How great is Your love! Thank You for loving us enough to die.

longing for the better country

Sometimes I have a day that is not so good. It is hard for me to admit, but for a bunch of little reasons today was not a day I would want to repeat anytime soon. Yet, in the midst of it I see blessing upon blessing, grace upon grace from my Father's hand. I don't know if you have ever moved, switched careers (from one that is your heart to one that is fine), and have to start over with nearly everything, but I am currently in the midst of that and at times it is challenging. Changes call for trust and growing pains are just that, growing pains. I have almost been in Arizona for five months and God has done, and is doing, so much. How I must ask for the Spirit to birth in my heart patience as I wait and walk in faith.

The thing that I am constantly thanking God for in the midst of this transition is my family. Specifically, my beloved aunt and her family. They have been so gracious, generous, loving, thoughtful and they give really good hugs. One example of their extravagant love was on my birthday. I was sick so my aunt made delicious soup and my uncle made me an awesome birthday cake. He is an engineer so it was three giant layers of funfetti. We then played a silly game called "Headbands" and laughed til we cried. My uncle not only makes awesome cakes, but he serves so humbly. From helping me move to putting up curtains, and telling me silly jokes, he is such a servant.

I have also been thankful for Luke and that we get to live together. I am so blessed to have brothers that are sweet friends. Luke has a soft and tender heart, he is so caring and I am thankful that we can pray together. Not only that, but we have fun! 

The baby bro and my sweet cousins!

Even at the end of a not so wonderful day, blessings abound and with a hopeful heart we can be assured that we are one day closer to glory! Hallelujah! 

Lord, thank You that we don't walk alone and for the saints who have gone before us. In all these things woo me heavenward to You.

Hebrews 11:8-16:

   "By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.  By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.

    By faith Abraham, even though he was past age—and Sarah herself was barren—was enabled to become a father because he considered Him faithful who had made the promise.  And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore.

    All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth.  People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them."

insanely ridiculous

Look at what a student left on my desk for me! 

They are LED Christmas lights that plug into the USB port on my laptop. 

They are insanely ridiculous, and oh, so, fun!

They change colors too, but in a nice, subtle way.

It is crazy that tomorrow is December 1!

I was sick, really sick, for the first 3 weeks of November and half sick for the fourth week,

but at least I will have a stronger immune system for whatever God has ahead after this year. 

I will be praying for a healthy December all the same.

Coincidentally, today I taught the Latin root, "sanus," which means healthy, not diseased or injured.

 The English words sane, insanity, sanitation, etc. are derived from it. Nifty!

Fatherly love

I talked briefly with my dad today, while I was walking the shampoo isle at Target. He was telling me how I was his favorite daughter and I joked that it really takes a lot of work being his only daughter. His tone changed a bit, and then he told me that he had been thinking about the roughest patch we had in our father-daughter relationship when I was a young teen. He said, "It took me so long to realize that you wanted me to be your dad before your pastor."  It is true; I wanted to know that my father was for me.

My father is one of my favorite people. He is far from perfect, but a man of humility and faith. He means so much to me for so many reasons. Over the years he has guided me so faithfully to grow in my understanding of my heavenly Father. I remember those early teen years were the absolute suckiest, ever! I was trying to find my identity in the things of this world, and needless to say I found myself to be a failure in every way. I insulted myself with such certainty. I'm sure the words I spoke broke my parents' hearts. Yet, they were so patient with me, especially my dad. He just kept on preaching the gospel to me. He reminded me of all that Christ did on the cross to secure me as His child. He told me blunt Truth out of such sincere conviction, love and sternness, repeating it to my seemingly deaf ears for weeks. One day my heart was pierced. "Alissa, every time you say those things about yourself, you're slapping Jesus in the face and telling Him that what He did on the cross for you doesn't really matter to you." In that moment, the lies I had held so tightly to were called sin and were no longer a place of solace. There was no other choice, but to run to my Father and to walk in the Truth of His Word, knowing that I was without condemnation, a new creation, and a child of God, free before Him in Christ!

How sweet it is to know that the God of all things is pleased with us and has such deep love for His creation that He was willing to send His Son to live a perfect life, die a sinless death, and victoriously conquer the grave to bring us to Him, redeemed!

Abba, Father, how great is the love You have lavished upon us that we should be called the children of God, and that is what we are! Lord, what a sweet thing it is to know that we are Yours. You are for us, with us. Who can be against us? You have what is best in mind and You are able to secure it. Father, all You do is good and nothing is too hard for You. I am so thankful to know You. My heart cannot contain my thankfulness and yet, my lips could never praise You enough! O Lord, may I love others freely and fearlessly knowing how set Your love is for me? Lord, grow us for Your glory. Ground us in the love of Christ, cause our roots to grow deep that we may bear fruit in season. May Your love continue to go out from us. There are so many people aching for Your love. Open their eyes to see You, let their deaf ears hear and let their minds understand the love You have for them in Christ!

while the pies are baking

"Count your many blessings, Name them one by one.
Count your many blessings, See what God has done!"

What a simple and beautiful chorus for the grateful heart! (I just noticed I had a typo in the chorus. I had typed "Count your man blessings..." lol! I'm sleepy so that is really funny.)

On this Thanksgiving day, and every day, it is good to take time to thank God for what He has given us. As I was baking, I was struck by the abundance of blessing that I have in the people in my life. There are so many faithful, wise, and fun saints in my life. In the last few months it has been amazing to think back on how the Lord has led me all this way, often using different people to challenge and encourage me. There are so many nuggets of wisdom that have been passed down to me over the years. One of these nuggets is something that Don Allen (LB Nav staff director) often says, "There are three things that will last forever: God, His Word and the souls of men. I don't know about you, but I want to live my life in light of the eternal." Oh how I desperately want to live my life for eternity and for His glory!

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 

I keep letting the Spirit smack me in the face with this chunk. How prone I am to discouragement when life is hard, but my life is but a blip on the radar. God is working for His glory and how sweetly He invites me, and you, into His story for His glory!


Lord, thank You for the abundance of blessings that we have in knowing You as our Lord, Savior, Maker, Redeemer, Shepherd and Friend. I can't imagine what my life would be like without You. I thank You that You are at work in my life, in seen and unseen ways. Thank You for making me Your child. Lord, grow my understanding of who You are, continue this work that You have begun, that Your truth and love may reach those who don't know You. Grow us as we walk in faith. Thank You, thank You, thank You for Jesus' work on the cross, for His atoning sacrifice. Lord, that we are blessed in the heavenlies though we were by nature objects of wrath is a wonder to me. How gracious You are! Lord, I am a least one, but You love me still. Thank You for giving us so much significance. Thank You for good music and apple pies, too.

Voila!